My introduction to the term “ghosting” came from an article I read about the break-up of Charlize Theron and Sean Penn. I didn’t realize they were an item so my curiosity was aroused.
Apparently after a year of dating which turned into an engagement, Charlize suddenly stopped taking calls from Sean, blocked him from texting and totally cut him out of her life. At a Hollywood event that they both attended soon after, Sean was completely ignored as if he didn’t exist. The media, observing the drama, termed the spectacle: ghosting.
Further research online exposed blogs about the subject which included endless sad stories of individuals who where ghosted by ex’s, family members and even their children. No explanation, no fights, no drama: just terminated relationships. And why?
Contemplating the idea of ghosting and trying to understand the motivation behind it, I analysed the subject by a method I use often: putting myself in the other person’s shoes and trying to examine the issues from their point of view.
When directed at the meek and the innocent, ghosting can be mean spirited. Generally, the concept is brilliant.
Consider a relationship where one of the parties is so self-centered that no matter how often you argue or debate, they are always right. What about someone who constantly creates drama; it is exhausting. Have you ever been disrespected, racially profiled or bullied? What about someone who sexually or physically abuses without considering the consequences? Know anyone who is always the victim thriving on negative attention? Then there is the person who criticises and judges others instead of looking at themselves.
If you are being ghosted, check to see if one of the above examples sounds like you. I bet Sean Penn mistreated Charlize to the point where she decided; “You are so not worth it!” Good for her! He doesn’t deserve her attention.
Relationships should be based on mutual love and respect with the balance of give and take. One sided friendships don’t last. I wonder if Sean Penn learned anything about himself as a result of being ghosted?